it's been quite a long time since i last posted anything on my blog. Anyway, in short, this post will be about discipline, as the title suggests. Yup.
To begin, i'm really sure most of you kids/teenagers out there would have experienced punishment (or discipline, in a nicer way) in different forms. Caning, grounding, and so on. What's more, it takes place in school, at home, in the outside world (fines, etc, etc). But what is the main purpose of discipline?
Just to clarify, I shall be mainly focusing on discipline matters within the four walls today. Maybe discipline in the outer world may follow in my next post. But let's ignore that for the time being.
So why do parents discipline/punish their children? Mainly it's because their child has done something wrong, broken some rule, etc etc. But can you parents out there deny the fact that some of you punish your children simply to vent your anger on them? Say one day you came back from work, in a bad mood because something went wrong, and your child comes up to you and asks you "why is the sky blue?" And that, to some of you, is the "final straw". Your child becomes the butt of your anger, you thrash him/her repeatedly, ignoring his/her cries and totally forgetting the fact that your child knew nothing about your day at work. He/she did not mean to provoke you. There was no hypocrisy at all in his/her question, just childish innocence. Did he/she deserve the beating?
Of course, to look at this issue purely from the child's point of view would be unfair and biased, as I myself am only a teenager. I understand that sometimes children flout the rules and it would only be fair and just that they are given their desserts for that. That is undeniable.
Let us look at this from yet another angle. Say you punish the child every single time, whether it be over a trivial matter or over a serious issue. What do you think the result will be? Your child will grow up a defiant, angry person. Now, would any of you like to see your child turn out that way? I am sure, no matter how cruel a person can be, no parent would want to see their child have such a character.
Now, i hear you ask, then what should you do? The solution, really, is quite simple. Listen to your child. Talk to him/her more. Spend more time with him. And i assure you, as your relationship improves, you will not punish him/her unless there is a justifiable reason to. And he/she will accept it. And that is because what your child needs from you is really your support, your guidance, your advice! As parents, don't you feel that you should help your child?
As always, nobody is perfect. Children will always make mistakes. But there is no need to punish them so severely. Grounding, the removal of privileges, and so on! These are all various methods to teach your child a lesson. And the most important thing is that after you have disciplined your child, you talk to him/her and explain why you punished him. Tell him/her that what you did was for his own good, that he should not repeat his mistake lest the consequences of his error be severe.
To conclude, parents out there, please be aware of your child's feelings. We are humans too. Talk to them, spend more time to them. Advise them. And slowly but surely, you may totally abolish the need to punish and discipline them. Spare the rod, spoil the child? Maybe not.
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